The Problem with Darkhounds

To:
The 2Bit Wrap,
Suite 66, The Bahamas,
Earth

From:
Mrs. Ol’ Gal,
P.O. Box 1,
Perdition

– BEGIN TRANSMISSION –

G’day. Is this darn thing on? Bugger, it’s blinking. Let’s give that another go. M.A.T.E, from the start please.

G’day. This is Ol’ Gal, writing in from Perdition. Long time reader, love your stuff. First time writer though. Well, dictator. As in I’m dictating, not a dictator. Shit. Again please, M.A.T.E.

G’day. This is Ol’ Gal, from Perdition. I’m writing in about Darkhounds. They’re everywhere, you see - on Perdition I mean, of course you don’t know what a Darkhound is. Why is this so bloody hard? Again, M.A.T.E.

G’day. I’m Ol’ Gal and I’ve got a problem with Darkhounds. That’s like a big, mean dog if you stuck purple crystals all over it. They don’t smell too good either but they probably can’t run a bath, water being scarce and all. M.A.T.E!

G’day. Ol’ Gal here and is that smoke? My cookies!

– END TRANSMISSION –