Mephisto burst from the surface of the spring in an explosion of water and muscle. Shimmering droplets sheared through the narrow rays of the sun as he shook himself dry like a mongrel dog. His glistening arms bulged with the effort it took to slick his wild mane back across his shoulders, and when he was done he stood like a chiselled statue waist deep and naked in the serenity of the secluded pool.
A rustle of the reeds near the bank warned him of trespass upon his tranquil spring. “Who goes there?” He demanded of the disrespecting voyeur.
Above the reeds rose a ten foot tall vision of beauty. More than a woman, in a purely mathematical sense, she bore not one but three heads. The first had short-cut hair the colour of a clear night sky, pitch black and fine as threads of silk. The second had shoulder-length hair of bright red, curly as unshorn wool and fluffy as freshly whipped cotton candy. The third was blonde, her long golden hair bound up in a tight bun by two crude sticks.
Their singular powerful body was covered only by an ill-fitting bear-fur loincloth, leaving their three magnificent breasts to bounce freely as they hefted a brutish wooden club onto their shoulder. Mephisto had heard tell of such a creature before - a triclops. He’d never heard of one getting so big though, the heads usually gave each other the silent treatment shortly after they learned to speak and starved to death not long after.
“Drown it,” said the first head, with the raven hair.
“Squish it,” said the second, with the ginger hair.
“Man-thing, why dost thou intrude upon our sacred pool?” asked the third, the blonde.
Mephisto had never been with a triclops before, only a schizophrenic biclops and for one particularly blurry weekend a set of cyclops triplets. A cunning plan popped into his head and he took a step towards the shore. His tackle emerged from the water, and with it he went fishing. “Please forgive me oh three breasted beauty, I didn’t know this was your sacred pool.” He grabbed his cock and held it up for inspection. “My sizeable prick got snagged by some poison ivy and I merely wanted to soothe the itch.” The itch had actually come from a very disingenuous lady vampire that swore her rash was just sunburn.
Three sets of hungry eyes took the bait.
“Bathe it,” said the first head.
“Rub it,” said the second.
“Dost thou attempt to deceive us, man-thing? For we would surely like to crush thee,” asked the third.
Mephisto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Blondes, he thought, always overthinking things. He held his hands up disarmingly and decided to lose the subtlety. “The only weapon I carry is illegal in seven kingdoms.” At their confused look, he pointed to his penis. Three understanding ‘aahhs’ followed. “If you don’t believe me, how about you search me? Thoroughly.” He sealed the deal with a wink. A very obvious wink, just in case.
“Grab it,” said the first head.
“Yank it,” said the second.
“Wouldst thou protest if I touch it?” asked the third.